Man’s best friend, they said. It would be fun, they said. Well, dogs deserve the title ‘Baby’s best friend,’ too. Peanut was surprisingly calm when meeting the two family dogs for the first time. That’s pretty impressive, considering these two giant fur balls cause a ruckus 24/7, they pride themselves on bringing small dead animals to the doorstep and jumping on top of anyone who’s really comfortable watching a movie. That being said, the pups know when to implement their often-dwindling manners when appropriate.
Hi, Hello, How Are You
They’re the first faces you see when you walk through the door and there’s no better greeting on the planet. Let’s get down to the stats here.
Stewie, an Australian Shepard, is a Momma’s boy, loves snacks, gets jealous when other people get more attention than him and Beyoncé is his guilty pleasure. When Stewie gets excited he does a wiggle dance with his butt. He is renowned for being an alarm clock in the form of licking toes.
He is a wise intellectual canine, too. Stewie can unlock all of the doggie doors and he’s a great listener.
On the other hand there’s Moose, a big clunky Rottweiler. He always needs to be in the action, slobbering on TV remotes, chasing squirrels or scaring the shit out of the mailman. He always goes 100%. Moose looks over Peanut like Carl in those awesome Alexandra Day kid books.
Friend or Foe?
When meeting new people or being thrown into new situations, that’s when the pups’ ADHD kicks in. Stepping briefly into their minds, it would sound something like this: “IF I DEVOUR THIS PERSON, WILL DAD GIVE ME A SNACK? FRIENDS, NEW FRIENDS, I LOVE PARTIES. HE LOOKS TASTY.”
First things first, everyone should prepare themselves for where a dog will go with their nose. Yup, for some reason a dog must stick that slimy wet nose of theirs right in the most uncomfortable and rather private spots. The sniffing of the butt can last anywhere from ten seconds to a minute, but it’s gotta happen. It’s like a doggie initiation, if you will. This initial stage only happens the first couple of times you meet them, then you’re old news.
As uncomfortable as it may be, you should just go with the flow. “Hey, when you’re done sniffin’ around down there let’s play fetch and become best friends.” Would be a recommended reaction.
Have We Met Before?
The second encounter with Stewie and Moose is not as long and thorough as the first. Now, even though this is the second or third time you meet them, the pups immediately begin sniffing you, just to make sure their eyes are not playing tricks on them and you are still the “new human.” After a good sniff or two, Stewie begins to wiggle his butt due to a lack of tail. Moose, who is not as trusting as Stewie, moves from sniffing you to slobbering all over what you’re carrying. (RIP those cool new headphones that were drowned in drool). Something along the lines of ‘DOES THE NEW HUMAN HAVE SNACKS!?’ is probably going through their heads.
Oh Hey Old Friend
After taking some long walks with the dogs and letting them lick your hands after you’ve eaten, you can now consider your relationship to be more than just occasional acquaintances. When you wake up in the morning, they no longer bark at you but instead immediately begin licking feet. Instead of solely following their owners around the house, the dogs begin to pay more attention to you, laying by your feet and occasionally giving you a big lick on the cheek.
You know the two dogs care about you and have your back. Even Moose, who was wary of you for the first couple encounters, no longer hesitates when greeting you. The relationship is very comfortable at this point. He even farts when you’re both on the couch. But don’t be that guy who blames the dog.